So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
