Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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