I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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