TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
