Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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