I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize