We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im part way to drunk.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
