Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
