You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
