i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
