At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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