i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
