He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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