In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
