White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I queefed so loud it echoed.
a search helicopter?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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