im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
