So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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