like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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