Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
