so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
