I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
