can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ugly people sure do ruin things
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
