she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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