Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
