Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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