my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
