I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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