K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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