After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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