It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
