You really coming over, don't trick.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
