Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
