We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do vagina's smell?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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