I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize