Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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