we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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