You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
