Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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