my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
