Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
