you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
be right there i have to get my cape
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
