if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
