I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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