I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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