Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
