I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
