She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
