i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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