If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
