mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
