Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
