I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
