I wanna bring you to show and tell
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
