so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
