Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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