found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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