She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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