i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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