Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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