So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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