I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
