i need an iv and a liver transplant
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
