he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
