the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
MIDGETS
????
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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