Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
